


two am bad choices: an MMU text fic

by clickingkeyboards, WritesEveryBlueMoon



Category: Murder Most Unladylike Series - Robin Stevens
Genre: A Clickety Special: Every Little Hurts, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Copious Foreshadowing, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Gen, Group chat, Implied/Referenced Abuse, you know you've got an angst problem when you need to tag a text fic with that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24858292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clickingkeyboards/pseuds/clickingkeyboards, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritesEveryBlueMoon/pseuds/WritesEveryBlueMoon
Summary: murder most unladylike but make it modernwritten by clickingkeyboards and enormous amounts of credit to dear BlueMoons who wrestled with the nightmare of AO3 work skins and formatted the text messages in this fic.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 93





	1. bad news to the nth degree

ur local cryptids  
  
**Sep 2** 6:30AM  
  
Beanie  
Morning!!  
  
Kitty  
you’re so chipper how is it possible for a human to be this happy at like six in the morning  
  
Beanie  
Im excited to go back! When are u guys gonna get there  
  
Kitty  
Early, worst luck. hbu?  
  
Beanie  
Were going to see Mummy in hospital first because you know she had that funny thing with her stomach so Ill get there at lunch?  
  
Kitty  
:( i hope your mum’s okay  
  
Beanie  
She will be! Daddy said that shell get better soon and be back at home again  
  
Kitty  
that’s good, beans! hbu daisy?  
  
**Daisy:** Bertie’s the priority, the horror, so we’ve got to take him all the way to Eton before looping back to Deepdean  
  
Kitty  
that’s a terrible way to do it, deepdean is literally like 50 miles from your house tops  
  
**Daisy:** i am not complaining tbh, being in a car gives me time to think. plus, i may or may not have left most of my school stuff at my uncle’s flat in London when i went there at the start of the hols so we have to get that  
  
Beanie  
You are scatterbrained  
  
**Daisy:** and you are also a horror  
  
Beanie  
:(  
  
**Daisy:** apologies and condolences  
  
Beanie  
:D  
  


* * *

ur local cryptids  
  
**Sep 2** 7:23AM  
  
**Daisy:** you know how i told you two The Deadly Secret?  
  
Kitty  
that your brother’s gay?  
  
**Daisy:** yes, Kitty, that one  
  
Kitty  
what about it?  
  
**Daisy:** my brother was all curled up against the window trying to hide his phone screen from me so i was as secretive as possible and peered over  
  
Kitty  
OH NO  
  
Beanie  
What does that mean?  
  
**Daisy:** my brother has a boyfriend  
  
Beanie  
Aww!  
  
**Daisy:** no. not aww.  
  
Beanie  
Isnt it good? Im confused  
Im sorry  
  
**Daisy:** yes, it is good! but i don’t like that i looked at his phone and accidentally saw all of their lovesick messages to each other!  
  
Beanie  
Oh! Thank you Daisy  
  
**Daisy:** it’s okay, beanie. i hope your mum is okay  
  
Kitty  
what’s he called?  
  
**Daisy:** he’s saved in my brother’s phone as ‘S’ with a heart emoji. he has a few friends with first names, surnames, or nicknames that start with S, but it’s most likely a boy called Stephen Bampton.  
  
Beanie  
How did U work that out?  
  
**Daisy:** deduction  
  
Beanie  
Is Stefen nice?  
  
Kitty  
Is he cute?  
  
**Daisy:** how am i supposed to know?? he’s a boy, all boys are the same to me!  
  
Kitty  
fair  
  
**Daisy:** he’s alright, for a boy. he’s quite gentle and soft-spoken, probably wouldn’t hurt a fly  
  
Beanie  
He sounds nice!  
  
**Daisy:** he’s decent, i guess  
  
Kitty  
decent??  
  
**Daisy:** i mean, he hasn’t killed anyone as far as i know  
  
Kitty  
so he could be a secret serial killer  
  
**Daisy:** at least it’s interesting?  
  
Kitty  
bonnie and clyde?  
  
Beanie  
Would that make Bertie the Bonnie?  
  
**Daisy:**...imagine my brother in a dress  
  
Beanie  
Theres a word for that  
  
Kitty  
power couple?  
  
Beanie  
No I mean boys in dresses  
  
**Daisy:**...gay people?  
  
Beanie  
Not that either  
  
Kitty  
wait. drag queens?  
  
Beanie  
YES  
  


* * *

ur local cryptids  
  
**Sep 2** 7:55AM  
  
Beanie  
Mummy is doing good! She said she felt more better so the doctor let me give her a cuddle.  
  
Kitty  
that’s great, beans!!  
  
**Daisy:** that’s good, all hail the NHS  
  
Beanie  
What are you two doing?  
  
Kitty  
binny is being a brat, i hate that she’s going to be at deepdean with us  
  
Beanie  
She is very wicked and rude so it probably wont be fun.  
  
**Daisy:** we’ll have to prank the first years so they don’t get too comfortable  
  
Kitty  
YES  
  
Beanie  
Only if we arent too mean  
  
Kitty  
okay yeah fine we can compromise  
  
**Daisy:** Bertie’s still being insufferable, he’s all cagey when Chapman asks him who he’s texting  
  
**Daisy:** i don’t particularly want to know about him having a boyfriend but if he has one, he should at least tell me about it!  
  
Beanie  
Maybe you should text him?  
  
Kitty  
yeah he’ll probably kill you if you ask aloud  
  
**Daisy:** maybe  
  
**Daisy:** we’ve got like half an hour until we’re at Eton so i’d better do it soon  
  


* * *

Squinty  
  
**Sep 2** 8:03AM  
  
**Daisy:** Squinty, i have a question  
  
**Bertie:** I’m right next to you, literally just talk  
  
**Daisy:** you might kill me if i do, it’s about The Thing  
  
**Bertie:** Do go on, you’ve intrigued me  
  
**Daisy:** do you have a boyfriend?  
  
**Bertie:** Will it make a blind bit of difference if I say no?  
  
**Daisy:** i may have glanced at your phone?  
  
**Bertie:** I hate you, there’s something called PRIVACY  
  
**Daisy:** it was an accident!  
  
**Bertie:** I don’t believe that for a second.  
  
**Daisy:** i’m sorry!  
  
**Bertie:** His name is Stephen. Remember him?  
  
**Daisy:** redheaded and freckled?  
  
**Bertie:** That’s the one. Well?  
  
**Daisy:** what am i supposed to say?  
  
**Bertie:** You’re such an annoying little horror  
  
**Daisy:** you’re awful yourself  
  
**Bertie:** He’s nice, and he’s good, and kind. I don’t need anything else other than my sister’s approval  
  
**Daisy:** why not Mummy and Daddy’s approval?  
  
**Bertie:** Because I don’t care what they think  
  
**Daisy:** well, okay  
  
**Daisy:** in that case… you have my approval, i guess?  
  
**Bertie:** How lovely of you, Daisy  
  
**Daisy:** was that sarcasm?  
  
**Bertie:** Yes  
  


* * *

ur local cryptids  
  
**Sep 2** 8:57AM  
  
Kitty  
watch out, guys, miss griffin has bad news to the nth degree  
  
**Daisy:** oh??  
  
Beanie  
Ooh!  
  
Kitty  
We’re getting   
a new girl  
  
**Daisy:** OH NO  
  
Beanie  
Oh, yay! Whats her name  
  
**Daisy:** Beanie, what’s wrong with you  
  
Kitty  
beans, I love you, but this is BAD  
  
Beanie  
:(  
  
Kitty  
okay, i’m sorry  
  
Beanie  
Whats her name?  
  
Kitty  
miss griffin said ‘lavinia temple’  
  
Beanie  
Thats a nice name  
  
**Daisy:** which bed are we giving her? i refuse to move  
  
Kitty  
she can have the one next to the door  
i’m not mean enough to put her next to the window  
  
**Daisy:** so we have the two shoddy ones next to the window, then me, then you, then Beans and then the new girl? works for me  
  
Beanie  
I hope shes nice!  
Dont you?  
  
Kitty  
beans, i don’t care as long as she doesn’t try to be the head of the group  
  
**Daisy:** over my dead body  
  
Beanie  
Knife!  
  
Kitty  
arsenic!  
  
**Daisy:** idiots, if you want to kill someone, you shove her off the gym balcony  
  
Beanie  
I cant tell if you want to kill the new girl or if ur just like this  
  
**Daisy:** :)  
  


* * *

ur local cryptids  
  
**Sep 2** 1:41PM  
  
Kitty  
verdict: she isn’t that bad!  
  
**Daisy:** I Don’t Like Her  
  
Beanie  
You dont like anything Daisy  
  
**Daisy:** i like murder. and my brother.  
  
Beanie  
Well I think shes nice and good  
  
Kitty  
she’s quite sulky  
  
**Daisy:** so are you; have you seen yourself before 9am?  
  
Beanie  
Daisys right  
  
Kitty  
should we add her?  
  
**Daisy:** no, make a new chat; we don’t want her to know all about Beanie’s mum and my brother right away. if she’s good and trustworthy, she’ll find out in the same way you two did  
  
Kitty  
what, through spilling all of our life’s trauma to each other at 2am?  
  
**Daisy:** We Don’t Talk About That  
  
Beanie  
I will make the chat  
  
**Daisy:** thank you, Beanie  
  
Beanie  
:D  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave comments about what you liked and didn't like so i can easily look back on how i can make this fic as enjoyable as possible for everyone!


	2. put me in the nominative

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave comments about what you liked and didn't like so i can easily look back on how i can make this fic as enjoyable as possible for everyone!

s c r E A m s  
  
**Sep 12** 5:10PM  
  
Lavinia  
totally worth getting detention for that  
  
Kitty  
what did you do, i was in the san  
btw please come and bring my tuckbox, i’m bored  
  
Beanie  
You know how we have the silly competition in history to answer the register in the most funniest way?  
  
Kitty  
oh g o d what did you do  
  
Lavinia  
i answered with something along the lines of ‘rumour has it that miss griffin is fully toilet trained’  
  
Beanie  
It was so random that we all started dying of laughter  
  
**Daisy:** Lappet is FURIOUS at her  
  
Kitty  
lavinia i love you  
  
**Daisy:** you know, it’s really hard to win the competition in of answering the register in the most amusing way because i have to follow THAT up  
  
Kitty  
by ‘that’, do you mean lavinia or what lavinia says?  
  
**Daisy:** Lavinia.  
  
Kitty  
SVDHSJDNK  
  
Lavinia  
How Dare You  
  
Beanie  
Lavinia you are now an object  
  
Lavinia  
asshole put me in the nominative!  
  
**Daisy:** agsgahaah that was good  
  
Lavinia  
oh good i have your approval  
  
Beanie  
Youre very sarcastic, maybe more than Daisy  
  
**Daisy:** HOW DARE YOU  
  
Beanie  
Its true!  
  
Lavinia  
we can tie  
i don’t think i deserve to take your place as most sarcastic  
  
**Daisy:** acceptable.  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Oct 5** 5:23PM  
  
Kitty  
oh my god she’s going to kill us  
she said in assembly that she thinks it's been destroyed  
  
Beanie  
Were going to be expeled!  
  
Lavinia  
at least daisy is gonna be disgraced and not us  
i mean it’s under her bed  
  
**Daisy:** please, Bertie has done that for the both of us  
  
Kitty  
sdfvsdgshas  
  
Beanie  
Hahaha!  
  
**Daisy:** you know how teachers can take back detentions if they got it wrong?  
  
**Daisy:** do you think that Miss Griffin could take back murdering all of us?  
  
**Daisy:** like, “oh, you had my ipad the whole time???” and we’re all dead on the floor  
  
Lavinia  
she just writes ‘sorry’ in blood  
  
Beanie  
Could we do a seance to come back?  
  
Kitty  
yeah, really freak out the first formers. their latest thing is seances. according to binny, they summoned the devil last week.  
  
**Daisy:** what infernal liars!  
  
Lavinia  
little shits, the lot of them  
  
Beanie  
Language!!  
  
**Oct 6** 12:17PM  
  
Kitty  
how’s detention lol  
  
Lavinia  
ehhhh haven’t murdered the bell yet  
  
**Daisy:** oh you got the bell, worst luck  
  
Beanie  
I think shes nice  
  
Kitty  
yeah because you’ve never pissed her off, you’re too nice  
  
Lavinia  
i have to fill in a fucking worksheet about disrespecting my elders  
  
Beanie  
language!  
  
**Daisy:** make it into a weapon, power move  
  


* * *

Major Freebody  
  
**Nov 23** 6:41PM  
  
**Daisy:** can you hear that?  
  
**Kitty:** oh thank god, i thought i was going mad  
  
**Daisy:** i think that someone is raising a cry down at school  
**Daisy:** it’s got to be one of the cleaners. was anyone missing from dinner?  
  
**Kitty:** henry looked like she was about to faint, didn’t she?  
  
**Daisy:** that’s who was missing! Verity Abraham! The Griff didn’t raise the alarm, though, i assumed she was in the San. i reckon that she told the leader of her soc. or one of the teachers that she was going to the San and that’s why no one freaked out  
  
**Kitty:** i reckoned that she’s run away or something but clearly not  
  
**Daisy:** don’t be a idiot  
  
**Kitty:** maybe it’s like that one time georgina haddock snuck her boyfriend into the school and made out with him in the gym after hours  
  
**Daisy:** you know that didn’t happen, right? just a rumour  
  
**Kitty:** whatever  
  
**Daisy:** i think matron heard the call, i just heard her door open  
  
**Kitty:** you have the ears of a fucking BAT daisy wells  
  
**Daisy:** it’s a talent  
  
**Kitty:**...should we sneak over?  
  
**Daisy:** this is why i like you, let’s go  
  
**Kitty:** how should we do it?  
  
**Daisy:** let’s wait until the other two go down to the common room and go out of the window  
  
**Kitty:** let’s go go go go  
  
**Nov 23** 7:36PM  
  
**Kitty:** are we gonna talk about that  
  
**Daisy:** nope.  
  
**Kitty:** fair enough  
  
**Nov 23** 7:46PM  
  
**Daisy:** you know, what’s bemusing me is that Verity has seemed out of sorts but not that sort. more like she’s received bad news from her folks, not that she was about to kill herself.  
  
**Kitty:** henry is the one who’s been looking like the end of the world is on the horizon  
  
**Daisy:** indeed. i wonder what’s going on. i’m usually clued into absolutely everything so this has blown me away  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Nov 30** 5:21PM  
  
**Daisy:** you know how i offered to help Tennyson with preparing the ‘order of service’ for the memorial?  
  
Beanie  
Yes  
  
**Daisy:** Henry just handed in the poem that she’s going to read out and Tennyson is fawning over how beautiful it is and how well it communicates friendship. she’s got to be having me on because Sappho is literally where the word sapphic comes from  
  
Beanie  
What does that mean?  
  
**Daisy:** it means gay, beans. she wrote lots of romantic poems about other girls  
  
Beanie  
Shouldnt Miss Tennyson know that?  
  
**Daisy:** precisely why i reckon that she has to be having me on with thinking that it’s about friendship  
  
Kitty  
ooh what’s the name of it?  
  
**Daisy:** poems by Sappho don’t have names, but i googled it so i can send it here l  
  
Kitty  
...go on  
  
**Daisy:** “Does love cross that invisible barrier When a loved one dies? Passes, rather.”  
“Yes! It is the soul that carries the love Not the body. And the love that we feel for another is eternal.”  
“When I was on Earth, and I lost my love Atthis, I wondered whether I would ever re-claim her, bask in her special love once again.”  
“Then I passed. And I learned that what I hoped for became real. That love flies with you as your soul departs your body In its winged flight to Paradise And there wait your loves.”  
  
Beanie  
Awwww!  
  
Kitty  
that’s a great poem actually  
  
Lavinia  
*insert vomiting*  
were they always so obvious about their relationship or is it just the term that i’ve been here  
  
Beanie  
All of us but the mistresses know  
  
Lavinia  
h o w  
  
Kitty  
student body’s worst kept secret  
  
**Daisy:** or best, depends on how you look at it  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Dec 1** 12:02AM  
  
**Daisy:** sigh, here we go  
  
Beanie  
SO HERE IT IS MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODYS HAVING FUN  
  
Kitty  
LOOK TO THE FUTURE NOW, IT'S ONLY JUST BEGUUUUUUUUUUUN  
  
Lavinia  
no.  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Dec 4** 1:02AM  
  
**Daisy:** mistletoe at the door of the common room, watch out  
  
Lavinia  
i’ll give you all my fondant fancies if you kiss clementine  
  
**Daisy:** hahahaha fuck off  
  
Beanie  
Shes pretty!  
  
Kitty  
she’s also a bitch, beans  
  
Beanie  
True, she is a bitch  
  
Lavinia  
BEANIE  
  
Kitty  
BEANS  
  
**Daisy:** B e a n i e   
  
Beanie  
Its true!  
  
Kitty  
i’m so proud of you  
  



	3. the runner bean

s c r E A m s  
  
**Dec 11** 2:00AM  
  
Beanie  
Are you looking forward to the holidays?  
  
Kitty  
yeah! but i’m gonna miss y’all  
  
Lavinia  
you could tell me that you’re about to shoot me in the head and i would be happier  
  
**Daisy:** nope!  
  
Beanie  
Are none of you happy?  
  
**Daisy:** being at home is like being in a warzone. my parents love each other, really they do, but they argue a lot. my mother just swears and shrills and and shrieks for hours. it’s nothing, really, but it’s infuriating.  
and that’s my emotions for today, from here on out i’m going to be sarcastic.  
  
Lavinia  
at least you get to see your brother! my brothers have fucked off to the colonies  
  
**Daisy:** joy, i get to hear him bang on about fucking Stephen Bampton  
not in that way, KITTY, i was using ‘fucking’ for emphasis  
  
Kitty  
you know me too well  
  
Beanie  
At least your mummy is well enough to shout Daisy  
  
**Daisy:** i’m sorry, Beanie  
  
Kitty  
i hope your mum is well enough to come home for the holidays, beans!  
  
Beanie  
Daddy says that shes got a lot better but shes still very weak from all the medicine. And her lovely long hair is all thin and brittle. Daddy says that we can get her a wig if she wants to have her old hair back.  
  
Lavinia  
i’m glad for you, i suppose  
  
Kitty  
it’s good that the chemo has been working for her! that was such a sudden reveal, i’m so proud of you for soldiering on  
  
**Daisy:** Beanie Martineau, professional superhero  
  
Beanie  
Do you mean that?  
  
**Daisy:** yes. anybody who can be as lovely as you with something so horrid happening to them in private should be considered a superhero  
  
Beanie  
:D  
  
Lavinia  
brb changing your contact in my phone to ‘supergirl’  
  
Kitty  
no wait she needs a name better than that  
  
**Daisy:** we’re coming up with a superhero name for Beanie, that’s what we’re doing now?  
  
Lavinia  
apparently  
  
Beanie  
The baked bean?  
  
**Daisy:** super-bean  
  
Lavinia  
the runner bean  
  
Kitty  
RUNNER BEAN  
BRILLIANT  
everyone change their contact for beans to ‘runner bean’ this instant  
  
**Daisy:** on it  
  
Lavinia  
on it  
  
Beanie  
:D  
  
Kitty  
have we cheered you up, beans?  
  
Beanie  
Yes!  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Dec 14** 10:41PM  
  
**Daisy:** sooo the holidays aren’t going to be that bad for me at the start  
  
Kitty  
????  
  
**Daisy:** my mother is going to visit a friend in Lincolnshire and my father is going to go and help my aunt move house, so Bertie and I get to stay with my Uncle Felix in London for a few days!  
  
Kitty  
is this That Uncle?  
  
Lavinia  
the one who may or may not be the irl mycroft holmes?  
  
Beanie  
The one that Kitty is in love with the idea of?  
  
**Daisy:** you didn’t hear it from me but yes, that one. however, this has one downside  
  
Lavinia  
which is?  
  
**Daisy:** Stephen Bampton lives in London, so i am literally not going to see my brother because he’s just going to be fucking around in London with his boyfriend  
  
Beanie  
Hahahahah! Good luck Daisy  
  
Kitty  
ahshsahsd sucks to be you  
  
Lavinia  
lol good luck  
  


* * *

Unknown Number  
  
**Dec 17** 9:13PM  
  
**Unknown:** Is this Daisy Wells?  
  
**Daisy:** yeah, it is.  
  
**Unknown:** Hey, it’s Henry.  
**Henry:** I have a somewhat odd request.  
Do you think that I could pay you a visit in the hols? Vers and I had a lot of plans for this holiday, and I refuse to spend it all miserably curled up in my bedroom rereading old text messages.  
  
**Daisy:** of course, i wouldn’t mind. we’re in London with my uncle for the first few days of the holiday, so you can visit us way easier. it’s only a few stops on the train from where you live  
  
**Henry:** Thank you so much  
  
**Daisy:** i suppose that you want to see Bertie too?  
  
**Henry:** That would be nice.  
  
**Daisy:** Bertie has that boyfriend of his that he’s doubtless going to spend all his time visiting, so we’ll need to plan ahead so he can work all his visits to Stephen around that  
  
**Henry:** Maybe make a group chat?  
  
**Daisy:** oh god, you and him in a group chat? lord have mercy  
  


* * *

Adults + Daisy  
  
**Dec 17** 9:19PM  
  
**Daisy:** thank you for changing the group chat name to that, Squinty  
  
Henry  
Is he wrong, though?  
  
**Daisy:** this is bullying  
  
Bertie  
Right, planning??  
  
**Daisy:** yep! i explained what’s going on to the idiot here so you don’t have to explain it all over again  
  
Bertie  
Eton and Deepdean break up on the 19th, right?  
  
**Daisy:** yup  
  
Henry  
I could meet up with you on the 21st? I suppose my folks will want me to themselves for a day or so.  
  
Bertie  
Steph wants to drag me round a few museums on the 20th, the nerd. I’ll let him know that I’ll be busy on the 21st, one sec  
  
Henry  
This is that boyfriend of yours that you’ve had since before GCSEs, right?  
  
**Daisy:** you’ve been dating for that long??  
  
Henry  
Yeah. When I met up with Bertie after GCSEs, they were already together. They got together just before the Easter holidays!  
  
**Daisy:** you mean to tell me that you have had a boyfriend since April and didn’t tell me until September? that’s nine months!  
  
Bertie  
Yes, Squashy! And I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to murder Steph if we broke up. When we hit six months, I thought you ought to know.  
  
Steph says hello, by the way  
  
**Daisy:** you’re forgiven! so, the 21st?  
  
Henry  
Works for me!  
  
Bertie  
Same here  
  
Henry  
Bertie?  
  
Bertie  
Yup?  
  
Henry  
What’s your boyfriend like?  
  
**Daisy:** don’t start him on Stephen Bampton, not again  
  
Henry  
I’m curious!  
  
Bertie  
I mean, he’s amazing. He’s incredibly kind, and reassuring, and incredibly clever. Actually gives a shit about his subjects. Some people pay him to tutor them, I only have to pay him in kisses  
  
**Daisy:** i’m going to vomit  
  
Bertie  
Fuck Off, Daisy Wells  
  
**Daisy:** we’re having a feast tonight so i gotta go anyway to cut up cake, have fun waxing poetic about your boyfriend  
  
Bertie  
🖕  
  
Henry  
Wait, is your boyfriend the cute ginger boy that is on your instagram feed maybe more than musicals?  
  
Bertie  
YES  
  
Henry  
With the darned jumpers and the freckles and the little shy smile?  
  
Bertie  
Yes!  
  
Henry  
Aww, you got lucky!  
  
Bertie  
I did, didn’t I?  
  


* * *

👑 Henry  
  
**Dec 18** 5:47PM  
  
**Henry:** I just got out of the end-of-term meeting with Miss Griffin.  
The head girl brought me along to the prefects meeting because I’m likely to be on the team next year, or so Miss Griffin says.  
If you promise not to tell anyone, I have some news.  
  
**Daisy:** go on?  
  
**Henry:** You’re getting a new girl in your dorm next term  
  
**Daisy:** another?? worst luck. what’s her name?  
  
**Henry:** Hazel Wong.  
  
**Daisy:** hm. Hazel Wong. i suppose it could be worse  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave comments about what you liked and didn't like so i can easily look back on how i can make this fic as enjoyable as possible for everyone!


	4. all of the digestives

s c r E A m s  
  
**Dec 20** 11:43AM  
  
**Daisy:** brothers are awful  
  
Lavinia  
hear hear, what did he do?  
  
**Daisy:** Bertie has gone absolutely silly with love. we were talking about the book he read to me when I was little, five children and it, and the things that we wished for. he stretched out on his bed and got the silliest and sappiest look on his face, and he said, “i wished to meet the best person in the world, and it came true.”  
i would dearly like to punch Stephen Bampton in his freckled face, he’s my brother’s only topic of conversation  
  
Beanie  
I think its cute that hes in love  
  
**Daisy:** you don’t live with him  
  


* * *

Adults + Daisy  
  
**Dec 21** 9:09AM  
  
Henry  
The train is delayed, I swear to god that someone better have died.  
  
Bertie  
How late is it?  
  
Henry  
24 minutes, I want to die  
  
Bertie  
Let’s not wish death on people  
  
**Daisy:** no no go ahead it’s funny  
  
Henry  
THANK THE LORD, SALVATION HAS ARRIVED IN THE FORM OF A TRAIN WITH SEATS LIKE 80S SHIRTS  
  
**Daisy:** pfft lucky you  
  
Bertie  
Steph is infuriating sometimes, I have never heard more about the tedious technicalities of sailboat operation  
  
Henry  
Isn’t he a gem?  
  
Bertie  
I told him that it’s tedious and he just replied ‘the weston incident.’  
  
**Daisy:**???  
  
Henry  
Do tell  
  
Bertie  
We had a rugby match against Weston and their blindside flanker tackled me and wrecked my shin with his rugby boot, and Steph bandaged me up. He likes to reference how much I whined about an injury that really didn’t hurt whenever I tell him that he’s annoying me  
  
Henry  
Ooh I’ve met their rugby team when our tennis team played against theirs to Make A Statement about gender segregation in sport.  
Which one?  
  
Bertie  
Indian, bit shorter than me, Londoner, long and complicated surname that starts with M  
  
Henry  
Oh I know him, I shook his hand.  
  
**Daisy:** because you apparently don’t have ears, Squinty, Uncle F wants you  
  
Bertie  
I’m calling Steph! What does he want?  
  
**Daisy:** to know something about your dumb boyfriend so you’d better move fast   
  
**Dec 21** 9:17AM  
  
Henry  
This station is literally five stops from where I need to be and there’s a delay because of a tree on the track  
  
**Daisy:** rip  
  


* * *

Squinty  
  
**Dec 21** 9:35AM  
  
**Bertie:** Why is Uncle F so perceptive?  
  
**Daisy:** we know where I get it from, at least  
  
**Bertie:** He just sat me down and, I stg, fucking interrogated me  
  
**Daisy:** what the heck did he even ask you?  
  
**Bertie:** He was serious, which is never good  
  
**Daisy:** all the way serious?  
  
**Bertie:** You bet, he sat me down on the sofa and put his hand on my shoulder and asked if I had anything to tell him. All entirely serious  
  
**Daisy:** did you tell him?  
  
**Bertie:** dId I tElL hIM- NO, Daisy, I did not  
  
**Daisy:** what exactly was he asking?  
  
**Bertie:** He told me, and I’m quoting, “If there’s something that you want to tell me, you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide it from me. You know, if there’s something between you and Stephen, you can tell me.”  
  
**Daisy:**...huh, Uncle F has working eyes, who knew?  
  
**Bertie:** If he works it out, I’m running away to Mantua  
  
**Daisy:** with your dumb boyfriend, i assume?  
  
**Bertie:** Well, I’d go mad without him  
  
**Dec 21** 9:54AM  
  
**Daisy:** Mantua is the place they run away to in Romeo and Juliet, isn’t it?  
  
**Bertie:** Yep  
  
**Daisy:** fuck you  
  
**Bertie:** :) I smell jealousy  
  
**Daisy:** i smell bullshit  
  


* * *

Adults + Daisy  
  
**Dec 21** 4:42PM  
  
Henry  
Hey you two, thank so much for today  
I’m sorry for kind of crying in your uncle’s kitchen and eating all of your Digestives  
  
Bertie  
It’s alright, I can tell that you needed that. And I’m sorry about Verity, she sounds lovely  
  
Henry  
She was. I adored her.  
  
Bertie  
I can tell  
  
**Daisy:** i’m glad that you got it out, i think  
  
Bertie  
‘I think’?  
  
**Daisy:** i’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about it, but i think it’s supposed to be good  
  
Henry  
Thank you, you’re a good pair of siblings  
  
Bertie  
God knows who we get it from  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Dec 22** 2:09PM  
  
**Daisy:** guess who i had the absolute pleasure of meeting today  
  
Beanie  
Stephen?  
  
**Daisy:** y e p  
  
Beanie  
Oh gosh is he horrid?  
  
**Daisy:** he’s... odd. charming, certainly, but odd. he curls in on himself all anxiously and he saunters like a cat about to kill a mouse  
  
Kitty  
like I said in september, the guy is totally a murderer  
  
Lavinia  
i would totally date a murder wdym  
  
Beanie  
Thats weird you concern me  
  
Lavinia  
oh good that’s my aim  
  
Beanie  
I sometimes think that you need help. Youre like the thing we learnt about in assembly  
  
Kitty  
what thing?  
  
Beanie  
Pandora’s box!  
  
**Daisy:** Beanie, i love you  
  
Beanie  
:D  
  
Kitty  
go on, what else happened with ‘stephen fucking bampton’  
  
**Daisy:** i asked him what he thinks about my brother and he told me that he loves Bertie dearly. i told him that i shall kill him if he hurts my brother, and he merely chuckled and said that he wouldn’t dream of it. Bertie told me later that i was an idiot for threatening Stephen. he says that Stephen isn’t the sort to hurt someone  
  
Beanie  
At least youve met him now!  
  
Lavinia  
^^^^  
  
Kitty  
is he cute?  
  
**Daisy:** he’s alright, i guess  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Dec 23** 4:01AM  
  
Beanie  
Is anyone here?  
  
**Daisy:** yes i am, hello  
  
Lavinia  
me too  
  
Kitty  
hello!  
  
Beanie  
why are you all awake?  
  
**Daisy:** Bertie just snuck out  
  
Lavinia  
mum and dad are rowing  
  
Kitty  
binny is being a little shit  
  
Lavinia  
why are you awake?  
  
Beanie  
Mummys been rushed to hospital and Im at home all alone  
  
Kitty  
oh no! for the cancer?  
  
Beanie  
No! There are so many things wrong with her, it makes her hurt all the time. She fell down the stairs while getting a drink and she went all fluttery and stopped breathing properly so an ambulance came  
  
Kitty  
oh no that’s awful! beans, i’m so sorry  
  
**Daisy:** i’m sure that the hospital can make her better, but i know it must feel horrible  
  
Lavinia  
she’ll be better in time for christmas  
  
i know she will  
  
Beanie  
This is the worst Christmas ever  
  
**Daisy:** i know. there will be a hundred others to make up for it!  
  
Beanie  
I know. I think Im going to go and make toast  
  


* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave comments about what you liked and didn't like so i can easily look back on how i can make this fic as enjoyable as possible for everyone!


	5. don’t do false politeness

s c r E A m s  
  
**Jan 7** 8:54AM  
  
Beanie  
Im sorry Im missing the first day  
  
Kitty  
it’s okay! we’ll keep you updated, we know you want to spend as much time with your mum before her operation  
  
Lavinia  
i hope your mum’s op goes well  
  
**Daisy:** give her good luck from us!  
  
**Jan 7** 11:24AM  
  
Lavinia  
guess fucking what  
  
Beanie  
What?  
  
Lavinia  
new girl.   
  
Beanie  
New girl?!!  
  
Kitty  
as i put it: are you fucking kidding me??  
  
Lavinia  
w h y  
  
**Daisy:** i may have known about this a month ago  
  
Kitty  
WHAT  
  
Lavinia  
h o w  
  
Beanie  
How??  
  
**Daisy:** Henry told me, but I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone!  
  
Beanie  
Fair  
  
Lavinia  
asshole  
  
Beanie  
Lavinia!  
  
**Daisy:** she’s quite quiet, isn’t she? thoughtful. i saw Pride and Prejudice in her trunk while she was unpacking  
  
Kitty  
serious, though, and she had one of those fancy Chinese dresses in her case  
  
**Daisy:** cheongsam  
  
Kitty  
she’s quite pretty  
  
Beanie  
I hope shes nice  
  
Lavinia  
we still ought to play a trick on her  
  
**Daisy:** i have an idea  
  
**Jan 7** 6:58PM  
  
Kitty  
daisy that was fucking brilliant  
  
**Daisy:** aren’t i a genius?  
  
Lavinia  
gotta hand it to her, taking all the blame like that!  
  
Beanie  
What did you do?  
  
Kitty  
the trunk trick that we tried on Lavinia, but she FELL FOR IT  
  
Lavinia  
daisy just said ‘not bad, new girl’ after matron screamed at her and she fucking grinned like it was Christmas  
  
Beanie  
I hope you apologised or else I wont talk to you anymore.  
  
Kitty  
b e a n s it’s only a joke  
  
Beanie  
You are all horrible and wicked girls if you dont say sorry to her.  
  
Lavinia  
come on, it was a joke  
  
Beanie  
It was a cruel and very nasty one! I am dis pointed in you all.  
  
**Daisy:** i’ll apologise  
  
Kitty  
w h a t  
  
**Daisy:** i do feel ever so slightly bad about it  
  
Lavinia  
call the presses  
  
Kitty  
daisy being sorry, there’s a turn up for the books  
  
Beanie  
And so you should!  
  
**Daisy:** by the way, the media wouldn’t be interested in a Wells; it’s all insufferably boring, and everyone of my relatives is annoyingly good as gold  
  
Kitty  
what if Bertie’s relationship with Stephen got exposed?  
  
**Daisy:** a scandal would be exciting, at least  
  


* * *

Major Freebody  
  
**Jan 13** 1:23PM  
  
**Kitty:** hazel is staring at you, reckon she fancies you?  
  
**Daisy:** who knows? i shall just stare back!  
  


* * *

Hazel Wong  
  
**Jan 19** 4:55PM  
  
**Hazel:** Did you mean what you said today?  
  
**Daisy:** of course i did, i don’t do false politeness  
  
**Hazel:** I think I figured that out from two weeks of us blatantly analysing each other  
  
**Daisy:** you aren’t wrong  
  
**Hazel:** I suppose not  
  
**Daisy:** i am very sorry about the trunk.  
  
**Hazel:** You don’t strike me as the sort of person that apologises  
  
**Daisy:** i’m not  
  
**Hazel:** Why me?  
  
**Daisy:** you’re different.  
  
**Hazel:** I suppose that’s a good thing in your book?  
  
**Daisy:** naturally. where exactly are you from, by the way?  
  
**Hazel:** Hong Kong. It’s a little island off the coast of China.  
  
**Daisy:** i knew that the flag you have isn’t the Chinese one!  
  
**Hazel:** Yes! So, you’re English?  
  
**Daisy:** yes! my father is in the House of Lords  
  
**Hazel:** That’s quite cool, are you rich?  
  
**Daisy:** i suppose, though it isn’t very English to talk about  
  
**Hazel:** But I’m not English  
  
**Daisy:** …no. no, i suppose you’re not  
  
**Hazel:** And is that good, Daisy Wells?  
  
**Daisy:** different is always good  
  


* * *

Hazel  
  
**Jan 24** 7:31PM  
  
**Daisy:** did you see Clementine’s magazine??  
  
**Hazel:** I didn’t know that English girls read gossip magazines! And… no. She’s loud and she shrieks and I don’t really like how obnoxious she is  
  
**Daisy:** most English girls don’t, she’s just weird  
  
**Hazel:** That checks out! Why were all the girls in the other dorm staring at you and giggling?  
  
**Daisy:** well, i’d rather it came from me, at least. occasionally, they do features on the scandalous lives of the children of those in the House of Lords, a little paragraph on each of us over a two-page spread. i found them hilarious when i was younger.  
  
**Hazel:** I’m guessing that something happened to stop that?  
  
**Daisy:** there’s one on my brother, questioning whether my brother’s relationship with his best friend is strictly platonic  
  
**Hazel:** Platonic?  
  
**Daisy:** oh! just friendship, the opposite of platonic is romantic  
  
**Hazel:** And you’re upset because the rumours are true?  
  
**Daisy:** you are… exactly right. my brother is dating his best friend. no one ever guesses it right  
  
**Hazel:** My father does say that I’m clever  
  
**Daisy:** clever indeed, Hazel Wong  
  
**Hazel:** You’re a younger sibling?  
  
**Daisy:** yep, my brother is infuriating. do you have siblings?  
  
**Hazel:** I have two sisters, Rose and May. They’re six and three.  
  
**Daisy:** quite the age gap! i reckon you’re a good older sister  
  
**Hazel:** Why do you say that? Don’t say it’s because I look clever  
  
**Daisy:** you don’t look clever, nobody can look clever. you look thoughtful and pensive  
  
**Hazel:** Oh, thank you! I always thought that I would have a best friend like the ones in books, sporty and blonde and messy. And you’re like that, but you’re also a lot more than that.  
  
**Daisy:** thank you, i’m not often told that  
  
**Hazel:** Then people aren’t paying attention enough  
  


* * *

Hazel  
  
**Jan 26** 2:47AM  
  
**Daisy:** Hazel, it’s quite confusing when you talk about your mother. she seems awful one minute and lovely the next, depending on the story  
  
**Hazel:** You have to promise to not tell a soul about this, okay?  
  
**Daisy:** i swear on my own life  
  
**Hazel:** I have two mothers. I know it’s weird. My father is married to two women at the same time, and they live in the same house. Ah Mah, my mother, and Jie-Jie, the mother of my little sisters. You can’t tell ANYONE, Daisy.  
  
**Daisy:** i won’t. and I don’t think it’s weird. it’s different, but different is good.  
  
**Hazel:** I know it’s awful, but I sometimes wish that Jie-Jie was really my mum, not Ah Mah.  
  
**Daisy:** that’s okay; it’s not wrong to want kindness, Hazel. it makes you very much more person-shaped. you are a lot more than just the sum of your genetics.   
  
**Hazel:** Thank you, Daisy, it means a lot.  
  
**Daisy:** no problem, Hazel. i have chocolate bourbons in my tuck box, if you creep over we can share them  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Jan 28** 10:13AM  
  
Kitty  
reasons why lavinia got mad today: there was no ‘strongly’ option oh the survey that we had to do, so she could only put that she slightly agrees that the school system sucks  
  
Beanie  
But dont you agree with that?  
  
**Daisy:** yeah but Lavinia doesn’t ‘slightly’ anything  
  
Lavinia  
TRUE  
  
**Daisy:** can i add Hazel?  
  
Kitty  
i have never seen two people become friends SO FAST  
yes, by the way  
  
**Daisy** added **Hazel Wong**  
  
Hazel  
Hello!  
  
**Daisy:** hello Hazel!  
  
Hazel  
Hello Daisy!  
  
Beanie  
Hi! Im Beanie by the way  
  
Kitty  
kitty  
  
Lavinia  
guess which one person left i am  
  
Hazel  
I saved all your numbers!  
  
Beanie  
that’s good!  
  
**Daisy:** i hope you don’t mind terribly if i change the topic, but guess who i want to punch  
  
Beanie  
Stefen Bampton?  
  
**Daisy:** Stephen fucking Bampton! i swear, if Bertie mentions his stupid boyfriend ONE MORE TIME, i am going to go and steal his damn phone off him so he can never babble about Stephen to me again  
  
Lavinia  
would you really want to risk the amount he would talk about stephen while you were stealing his phone?  
  
**Daisy:** true  
  
Beanie  
Wait Daisy you just talked about the deadly secret and Hazel is in this chat  
  
Kitty  
f u c k  
  
Hazel  
I already know, Daisy told me about it days ago!  
  
Lavinia  
what exactly do you know?  
  
Hazel  
Daisy’s brother Bertie is gay and he has a boyfriend called Stephen Bampton, and they’ve been dating since last Easter but Daisy only found out about it in September. He’s shy and quite charming but slinks around like the oddest sort of cat, and Daisy absolutely hates him because he’s all Bertie will talk about anymore and it’s infuriating.  
  
**Daisy:** and he’s ginger  
  
Hazel  
And he’s ginger  
  
Kitty  
well i’ll be damned  
  
Beanie  
You really are fast friends! Its kind of scary to be onest  
  
Lavinia  
fuck me, there’s two of them  
  



	6. MY BRAIN IS BIG AND STRONG

s c r E A m s  
  
**Jan 31** 2:00AM  
  
Lavinia  
a concept: amateurfiteroles  
profiteroles only worse  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 4** 1:47AM  
  
Kitty  
the ten-day countdown to valentines day starts today!  
  
Lavinia  
🤢  
  
Hazel  
This day is the most Western thing in the world  
  
**Daisy:** brb blocking my brother  
  
Beanie  
We should be very nice to King Henry on the day!  
  
Kitty  
that’s a good idea, beans!  
  
Lavinia  
add that to the agenda  
  
**Daisy:** how didn’t i think of that?  
  
Hazel  
Is that the girl in Sixth Form?  
  
**Daisy:** that’s the one  
  
Hazel  
Why should we be nice to her?  
  
Kitty  
well  
  
Beanie  
Uh  
  
**Daisy:** i don’t really know how to explain  
  
Lavinia  
there was a girl called verity abraham at this school that henry was dating, and she threw herself off the gym balcony  
  
Hazel  
Oh, that will do it. Yeah, I agree, we need to be very nice to her.  
  
Beanie  
Good that were in a greement  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 8** 9:21PM  
  
Kitty  
lavinia has small brain  
  
Lavinia  
NO I HAVE A BIG BRAIN  
  
Kitty  
tiny little baby brain no thoughts  
  
Lavinia  
BIG BIG BIGGEST BRAIN  
  
Kitty  
squishy squish squish  
  
Lavinia  
NO ITS BIG AND SQUISHY AND HAS MANY THOUGHTS  
NO NO NO IM THINKING SO MUCH MY BRAIN IS BIG AND STRONG  
  
Kitty  
i poke lavinia’s head and she dies immediately  
  
Lavinia  
I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS I DO IT ALL THE TIME  
I HAVE BIG BRAIN  
MANY THOUGHTS  
ALL THE THOUGHTS EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT  
  
**Daisy:** i’ve screenshotted this to read out in assembly tomorrow  
  
Lavinia  
NOOOOOO  
kitty’s just jealous of my wonderful brain with so many thoughts  
  
Kitty  
i hate absolutely everything about you  
  
Hazel  
Beanie, do you know what’s going on  
  
Beanie  
Nope!  
  
Hazel  
Oh good that makes two of us  
  
Lavinia  
i have big brain  
  
**Daisy:** i wish that you were anywhere but in this chat  
  
Lavinia  
i love you too  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 14** 12:00AM  
  
**Daisy:** just blocked Bertie  
  
Beanie  
Stephen?  
  
**Daisy:** Stephen.  
  


* * *

Hazel  
  
**Feb 14** 12:01AM  
  
**Daisy:** do you mind if i talk to you about something?  
  
**Hazel:** As long as it isn’t horror stories again  
  
**Daisy:** it isn’t, don’t worry! it’s about my brother  
  
**Hazel:** Oh, go on?  
  
**Daisy:** i hope you don’t mind, you have a chronic case of being a bit of a doormat in hopes that people will like you. you need to be assertive!  
  
**Hazel:** Really?  
  
**Daisy:** you’re my best friend because you were loud and proud about your cleverness, not because you’re far too nice at the expense of your own comfort!  
  
**Hazel:** You have a pretty good point, I’ll admit that. Thank you. Also, you let me talk about Ah Mah to you the other day, why shouldn’t I return the favour by listening to you?  
  
**Daisy:** you don’t have to repay me, i just wanted to listen. but thank you  
  
**Hazel:** What is wrong?  
  
**Daisy:** it’s just that i’m really not convinced that Stephen Bampton is the saint my brother thinks he is  
  
**Hazel:** You’re really concerned about this, aren’t you? It’s not just annoyance that Bertie’s dating now, you’re genuinely worried?  
  
**Daisy:** yes, and I don’t like it in the slightest. there is something strange about him, and the way he talks to my brother. there is one conversation from the holidays that i just can’t let go of.  
  
**Hazel:** What did he say?  
  
**Daisy:** well, Bertie was being a nuisance as usual, and Stephen was playing along, but then Bertie said something quite teasing to Stephen and he said, ‘i ought to hit you for that’. Bertie only laughed, but i felt all horrid and sick  
  
**Hazel:** I see why you’re concerned.  
  
**Daisy:** oh, Hazel, I just can’t shake the feeling that he’s hurting my brother. and I’m not a silly girl, even though my mother says so  
  
**Hazel:** You’re not being silly at all, Daisy. Your brother is a sensible young man and he can hold his own, but even the sensible can be blinded by love. If you let him know that you’re always there for him, you’ll be the first to know if things turn bad. He knows that you’re not sweet on Stephen like his friends are. They might defend him if he does anything, but you won’t, and so he’ll tell you.  
  
**Daisy:** you have a good head on your shoulders, Hazel Wong. thank you ever so much  
  
**Hazel:** Your brother has a good head on his shoulders too, but I’m not so sure about Stephen Bampton.  
  
**Daisy:** I’m not sure either, Hazel. i just hope that he doesn’t have to kill for Bertie to realise that Stephen isn’t the fucking angel he pretends to be.  
  
**Hazel:** I’m sure it won’t come to that, Daisy  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 16** 5:12PM  
  
Lavinia  
i can’t believe that they’re already on about the next head girl  
who CARES  
  
Beanie  
Well clearly some people do because its all anyone is talking about  
  
**Daisy:** if our next head girl isn’t Henry, I’ll eat my straw boater  
  
Hazel  
She is practically made for the position!   
  
Kitty  
there was a rumour last year, before verity killed herself, that griffin was going to personally endorse her as the next head girl  
  
Lavinia  
w h y  
  
**Daisy:** that’s strange  
  
Beanie  
Why Verity? She had the leadership capabilities of a SHOE  
  
**Daisy:** and Miss Griffin never payed her a whit of attention, not until she picked her for special tutoring  
  
Kitty  
secret daughter  
  
**Daisy:** not everything is a dramatic pseudo-Romantic novel, Freebody  
  
Kitty  
but most things could be  
  


* * *

Squinty  
  
**Feb 17** 7:21PM  
  
**Bertie:** Daisy, I am in Love  
  
**Daisy:** ✨i don’t care✨  
  
**Bertie:** :(  
  
**Daisy:** go on, what did your wonderful boyfriend do this time?  
  
**Bertie:** Because we’re in sixth form, we get an entire day to do whatever the fuck we want on Saturdays. If you get permission from your folks, you can even go up to London. So Stephen asked Uncle F if I he had permission, because lord knows Mum and Dad wouldn’t respond to a fucking carrier pigeon  
  
**Daisy:** wow, he went to great lengths for this!  
  
**Bertie:** He did, it was wonderful.  
  
**Daisy:** go on, what else. i know you’re dying to tell me  
  
**Bertie:** WELL  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 17** 7:35PM  
  
**Daisy:** anyone want a rundown of my brother’s valentine’s day date? because i have one  
  
Lavinia  
i’ll pass thanks  
  
Kitty  
i’m down to hear about it, dm me  
  
Hazel  
What’s wrong with Beanie?  
  
Lavinia  
wdym?  
  
Hazel  
Beanie and I were getting a board game from our dorm  
  
Kitty  
we know, you announced that you were leaving to do it  
  
Hazel  
Matron called her out, and said that her father is on the phone for her, and she looked quite frightened!  
  
Kitty  
oh no.  
  
**Daisy:** you think?  
  
Lavinia  
f u c k  
  
Hazel  
What is it?  
  
**Daisy:** Beanie can explain when she gets back, hurry up with finding that Sherlock game  
  



	7. aggressive confetti tube

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 17** 10:20PM  
  
Beanie  
Dad wont tell me whats wrong. Hes just driving and crying and he says ‘Becky!’ whenever I talk  
  
Kitty  
i’m so sorry, beans <3 your mum will be just fine, i promise  
  
**Daisy:** i’m sure it’ll come right in the end  
  
Lavinia  
if you put in your headphones, we can call you!  
  
Beanie  
I cant talk :(  
  
**Daisy:** you wouldn’t have to say anything! we could take turns reading a book out loud?  
  
Kitty  
both of you, great ideas  
  
Beanie  
That sounds good  
  
Kitty  
i have matilda in my tuck box, i’ll grab it  
  


* * *

oh fuck.  
  
**Feb 18** 7:30AM  
  
Kitty  
what are we gonna do about beans?  
  
Lavinia  
wait until she gets back?  
  
Kitty  
we have to do something better than that  
  
Lavinia  
surprise party for her when she gets back next sunday?  
  
Kitty  
g a s p YES  
  
**Daisy:** now you’re thinking like a detective. what should we have for this party? we’ve got an afternoon in town next saturday, we can buy everything we need.  
  
Hazel  
Candles, bunting, aggressive confetti tube, matches, books with large print, a new board game, a nice water bottle because she’s destroyed the mouthpiece of her current one by chewing it, and the shiny stuff you put on Christmas trees.  
  
**Daisy:** ‘aggressive confetti tubes’ they’re called confetti canons, Hazel  
  
Hazel  
That’s it!  
  
**Daisy:** also, fairy lights or tinsel?  
  
Hazel  
We could do both?  
  
Kitty  
fantastic idea  
  
Lavinia  
everyone suck up to your parents for more tuck box crap  
  
**Daisy:** everyone gather your money after chapel, i’ll go on the Tescos website and find the prices of crap  
  
Kitty  
shit that’s the bell for chapel and i haven’t done my hair yet  
  
Hazel  
Come into the bathroom, I can plait fast  
  
Kitty  
u r a saint  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 18** 6:51PM  
  
Beanie  
I have news  
  
Kitty  
oh??  
  
Beanie  
The cancer has moved to Mummys lungs so theyre trying to operate it out. She looks like shes about to die. She couldnt even speak because she was hurting so much, but she squeezed my hand lots.  
  
Kitty  
oh beans dear- i’m sure that the doctors will do all they can and make her as better as is possible.  
  
**Daisy:** that must be horrible, Beanie  
  
Hazel  
I’m sending you ALL of my love and hugs <3  
  
Lavinia  
do you want to call us?  
  
Beanie  
Yes please.  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 19** 7:41PM  
  
Lavinia  
beanie, save me  
  
Beanie  
Whats going on?  
  
**Daisy:** me and Kitty can’t agree on whether or not one hundred days is a long time  
  
Kitty  
if you were invisible for like 100 days, it would feel like ages!  
  
**Daisy:** but in the span of the universe and all of time, it’s a minuscule amount!  
  
Hazel  
Daisy, you would cause genuine bedlam with one hundred days of invisibility!  
  
Beanie  
What does that mean?  
  
Hazel  
A big mess  
  
Beanie  
Oh. Yes you would please never be invisible. You would end the world and then some more.  
  
Hazel  
Daisy Wells, bedlam generator  
  
Kitty  
do i get a fun chaos title?  
  
Lavinia  
Kitty, harbinger of chaos  
  
**Daisy:** i approve  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 21** 9:21PM  
  
Beanie  
Mum is a little bit better. They took the tumour out but she is still very floppy and ill.  
  
Hazel  
Give her my best wishes, Beanie!  
  
Kitty  
i’m glad! i’m sure ur giving her lots of cuddles  
  
Lavinia  
that’s great!  
  
**Daisy:** it’s good that the operation went well  
  
Beanie  
I want it to be normal again  
  
**Daisy:** normality absolutely sucks but i’m sure you can get an approximation of normality back  
  
Beanie  
Thank you. I think.  
  
Hazel  
In the most lovable way, Daisy, you’re the strangest person in the world.  
  


* * *

oh fuck.  
  
**Feb 22** 8:27PM  
  
Kitty  
you know how i gave beans my spotify to share?  
  
Hazel:  
Yes?  
  
Kitty  
it means that i can see what she’s listening to and… oh god she’s so SAD  
  
**Daisy:** what songs??  
  
Kitty  
supermarket flowers, by ed sheeran  
  
Lavinia  
isn’t that the one about someone’s mum dying?  
  
Kitty  
oh g o d guys, she’s PREPARING  
she’s made a playlist for them  
sometimes by anthony amorim, some music from her mum’s favourite band, hey little girl, teenagers by that band daisy likes, not gonna die, fix you  
  
**Daisy:** that’s concerning if nothing else  
  
Hazel  
What do we do?  
  
Lavinia  
i can’t believe this tbh she’s always been so happy, even if she’s a little frightened  
  
**Daisy:** i’ve an idea to passively let her know that you can see and cheer her up  
  
Kitty  
go on?  
  
**Daisy:** add some happier friendship songs to her queue  
  
Lavinia  
good idea  
  
Hazel  
Aw, Daisy, that’s so sweet!  
  
Kitty  
nice one, wells  
  
**Daisy:** thanks  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 22** 8:33PM  
  
Lavinia  
hey beanie, do you want to call us tonight?  
  
Beanie  
I dont want to bother you its okay  
  
Lavinia  
it’s alright, we don’t want you to be sad  
  
Beanie  
Im not sad  
  
Lavinia  
it’s preventative!  
  
Beanie  
Okay yes please it would be nice  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 23** 11:51PM  
  
Kitty  
do you guys know any good pick up lines?  
  
Lavinia  
do you mean actually good or laughably terrible  
  
Kitty  
yes.  
  
**Daisy:** i only know pickup lines because i got sent screenshots of a conversation between Bertie and Stephen exchanging terrible pickup lines to make each other laugh  
  
Lavinia  
did you fall from the vending machine cuz you’re a snacc  
  
Beanie  
I was just writing that one!  
  
Kitty  
oml this is already great  
  
Hazel  
I’ll give you a kiss; if you don’t like it, you can return it!  
  
**Daisy:** i’ll get back to you on that  
  
Beanie  
😂😂😂  
  
**Daisy:** i must be in a museum because you truly are a work of art  
  
Kitty  
you know that’s actually kinda good  
  
**Daisy:** it’s one of Bertie’s favourites, according to the amusing screenshots i got  
  
Beanie  
I found a silly one on line! Are you craving Pizza? Because Id love to get a pizz-a you  
  
Kitty  
do you have an eraser and a pencil cause i wanna erase our past and write out future  
  
Hazel  
Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?  
  
Lavinia  
are you a bank loan cuz you caught my interest  
  
Kitty  
is your body from mcdonalds because i’m loving it  
  
**Daisy:** even if there wasn’t gravity, i’d still fall for you  
  
Beanie  
I thought Happiness starts with H so why does mine starts with U  
  
Kitty  
your name must be coca cola because you’re so-da-licious  
  
Beanie  
😂😂😂  
  
Hazel  
I’d play hide and seek with you, but someone like you is impossible to find  
  
Kitty  
you’re so sweet, you’re giving me a toothache  
  
**Daisy:** if you were a triangle, you would be acute one  
  
Beanie  
Is youre name wifi because Im feeling a connection  
  
Lavinia  
if looks could kill, you would be a weapon of mass destruction  
  
**Daisy:** i love that one so much  
  
Kitty  
you are never gonna get a boyfriend with that attitude  
  
Hazel  
I can’t imagine anyone getting a good reception after saying that to someone  
  
Kitty  
if you see any police, run because you stole my heart  
  
Beanie  
😂  
  
**Daisy:** if i had a pound for every time i thought of you, i’d be in a higher tax bracket  
  
Lavinia  
rich kid  
  
Beanie  
I came up with this one! Are you a keyboard cause your my type  
  
Kitty  
compiling this into a note on my phone and waiting until a boy comes along  
  
Lavinia  
what, to scare them off?  
  
Kitty  
fuck you  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave comments about what you liked and didn't like so i can easily look back on how i can make this fic as enjoyable as possible for everyone!


	8. the aforementioned blindside flanker

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 24** 10:02AM  
  
Beanie  
We are on are way  
  
Hazel  
Yay! I’m excited to see you :)  
  


* * *

Oh Fuck.  
  
**Feb 24** 10:03AM  
  
Kitty  
BEANIE IS COMING BACK AND EVERYTHING IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 24** 4:21PM  
  
Beanie  
Thank you so much for the suprise today! It was very nice  
  
Kitty  
you’re welcome <3 i hope it cheered you up, beans  
  
Beanie  
It did! I had a lot of fun thank you  
  
Hazel  
Daisy is angrily glaring at her phone  
  
Lavinia  
what’s the bet it’s her brother  
  
**Daisy:** it is.  
  
Lavinia  
HA  
  


* * *

Squinty  
  
**Feb 24** 4:23PM  
  
**Daisy:** how was the rugby tournament?  
  
**Bertie:** It went well!! We won, so it’s 2-2 in our best of five with Weston. Joining the team has been great  
  
**Daisy:** well done, idiot. anything interesting?  
  
**Bertie:** They have that blindside flanker that tackled me during our last rugby match.  
  
**Daisy:** so how are your shins?  
  
**Bertie:** Surprisingly unscathed! Other than all of the mud, Weston has a very muddy field. But our teams went out to get food together afterwards. We kept separate apart from pleasantries and cursory glances, but that bloody blindside flanker kept on staring at me  
  
**Daisy:** ha! you have an admirer  
  
**Bertie:** Exactly what everyone on our team told me tbh  
  
**Daisy:** did Stephen have anything to say about this? i bet you told him  
  
**Bertie:** Of course I did. Better that he heard it from me! If any of the others told him, he’d think I was flirting with the guy, and then I’d really be in for it lmao  
  
**Daisy:**...right. what did you tell him?  
  
**Bertie:** ‘Hey Steph that blindside flanker from Weston keeps staring at me, the others reckon he fancies me’ and he said ‘alright, who do i have to kill?’  
  
**Daisy:** charmer.  
  
**Bertie:** They’ve also got a bloody loud referee. Their announcer is this tall American kid, and the referee is a little Indian kid. He has the same features as the aforementioned blindside flanker, so they’re probably brothers. He’s small but he has this bloody booming voice and a horrible shrill whistle, and he nitpicked everything his brother did, us Eton kids couldn’t stop laughing.  
  
**Daisy:** sounds brilliant, but Americans are always insufferable. our announcer is like the female Lee Jordan from Harry Potter, she’s great. also, does this blindside flanker have a name?  
  
**Bertie:** I think it’s Harold Mukherjee  
  
**Feb 24** 5:15PM  
  
**Bertie:** Aforementioned blindside flanker wants to add me on snapchat  
  
**Daisy:** add him and tell him that you have a boyfriend, or dump Stephen for him if he’s that interested  
  
**Bertie:** DAISY! I love Stephen very much, you know that. Plus, he only stared at me the slightest bit.  
  
**Daisy:** i was joking! but he WAS staring at you  
  
**Bertie:** I find some guys pretty that I wouldn’t date, but god knows that I’d catch it from Steph if I stared lmao  
  


* * *

Hazel  
  
**Feb 24** 5:17PM  
  
**Daisy:** i know English isn’t your first language but what would you say it means to ‘catch it’ from someone?  
  
**Hazel:** I think it means to tell someone off. Why?  
  
**Daisy:** do people tell off their boyfriends?  
  
**Hazel:** I’m not sure, maybe ask Kitty. Is this about Stephen and Bertie?  
  
**Daisy:** maybe  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 24** 5:20PM  
  
**Daisy:** vocabulary quiz: what does it mean to ‘catch it’ from someone?  
  
Kitty  
tell someone off, right?  
  
Beanie  
I thought it mean hitting someone  
  
Lavinia  
it’s that annoying lecture your parents give you when you break the rules  
  
**Daisy:** Beanie, where did you learn that?  
  
Beanie  
My grandad!! He told me that when he was little and he got in trouble, he would get hit! It wasn’t very nice. And his mum would say that he was going to catch it from her before she did it.  
  
**Daisy:** your family have an interesting idea of what constitutes as a bedtime story  
  
Beanie  
I asked! He has a very interesting past  
  
Lavinia  
fair enough.  
  


* * *

Hazel  
  
**Feb 24** 5:22PM  
  
**Daisy:** surely Stephen isn’t that bad. he can’t be. Bertie isn’t that much of an idiot.  
  
**Hazel:** I’m sure he’s alright, Daisy. I’m sorry you’re worrying about this. You shouldn’t have to.  
  
**Daisy:** should i ask him?  
  
**Hazel:** If there was something going on, I don’t think he would tell you.  
  
**Daisy:** well, he SHOULD tell me everything. he’s an idiot if he doesn’t.  
  


* * *

Squinty  
  
**Feb 25** 10:03PM  
  
**Bertie:** I know it’s early but I was thinking, what do you want for your birthday?  
  
**Daisy:** my birthday literally isn’t for 47 days, Squinty  
  
**Bertie:** Sue me, I want to get you something good!  
  
**Daisy:** i’d like some mystery novels  
  
**Bertie:** I am somehow not at all shocked. Do you know what your favourite film was when you were a little girl?  
  
**Daisy:** Mother says that it was Cinderella  
  
**Bertie:** How true do you think that is?  
  
**Daisy:** oh. good point.  
  
**Bertie:** It was Death on the Nile! You adored that film, I always thought you had a bit of a crush on Marie Van Schuyler, the American woman.  
  
**Daisy:** why did Mother lie?  
  
**Bertie:** Because she wants you to be a frilly and pink little girl, Squashy. She wants me to be the same in the opposite direction  
  
**Daisy:** hence you doing rugby to annoy her because she wants you to do football?  
  
**Bertie:** Bingo. I can’t believe that you’re going to be thirteen  
  
**Daisy:** i think that i shall be quite cured of birthday parties by the time i am fifteen. they’re childish!  
  
**Bertie:** They’re an excuse to have FUN  
  
**Daisy:** what do you even do on your birthdays?  
  
**Bertie:** If they’re on weekends, go out into town with Steph  
  
**Daisy:** you should talk to people other than him  
  
**Bertie:** I do! But I talk to him the most, it quite annoys my other friends  
  
**Daisy:** if he’s awful to you, Bertie, you’re going to be left with nothing because you put all of your trust into somebody so obviously bitter and wicked. and when it happens, i’m going to give you a bandage and tell you that i told you so.  
  
**Bertie:** Don’t imply things like that, Daisy, not when you have no basis for them. Things like that are serious, not something for you to detect. You need a lot of evidence to accuse somebody of being a cruel or abusive partner, it’s not a card you can pull because you don’t understand someone.  
  
**Daisy:** i have plenty of basis! and you don’t have a defence. he seems wicked and cruel to me and i don’t him at all. i don’t like how he jokes about hitting you, and i don’t like how he thinks he owns you, and i don’t like telling you things anymore because i know that you can’t not tell him everything i say to you.  
  
**Bertie:** My defence, Daisy, is that I am older than you and wiser. You’re twelve, and your only basis for relationships is our parents and they aren’t the best model. Not every relationship is cruelly fucked up and you can’t assume that because you’re bored and want something interesting to happen.  
And my defence is that I’m in love. I wouldn’t fall in love with someone cruel.  
  


* * *

Hazel  
  
**Feb 24** 10:17PM  
  
**Daisy:** well, i asked and he shouted at me.  
  
**Hazel:** Over text?  
  
**Daisy:** yes  
  
**Hazel:** I can cheer you up. As you are currently hiding in the bathroom texting Bertie, Matron came in and took Lavinia’s phone.  
  
**Daisy:** HA  
  
**Hazel:** But seriously, I’m sorry. I hope he thinks about what you said.  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 26** 4:33PM  
  
Lavinia  
i’m doing maths in detention  
is 300m/s faster than 320m/s  
  
Kitty  
no,,  
  
Lavinia  
are you sure  
  


* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**Feb 26** 9:51PM  
  
Beanie  
Ive decided that Im a friendship limpet. I shall be your friends forver, like a limpet  
  
Lavinia  
...i would love to know how you got to this point  
  
Hazel  
What on earth is a limpet?  
  
Beanie  
[limpet.jpg]  
  
Hazel  
They look quite alien!  
  
Kitty  
british beaches are a special kind of hell  
  
Lavinia  
did someone say weever fish  
  
Kitty  
NO, THE WORST  
  
**Daisy:** limpets don’t taste nice. well, not if you lick them while they’re on the rock. i assume they’re decent when cooked.  
  
Hazel  
Daisy, why did you lick a limpet?  
  
**Daisy:** i was small and my uncle wouldn’t let us get ice cream. i think it was in protest.  
  
Lavinia  
beanie is small but i don’t see her licking shells  
  
Kitty  
a great way to fight injustice  
  
**Daisy:** i was small and i wasn’t concentrating all my energy on fighting authority  
  
Hazel  
Meaning you had enough brain space to wonder what would happen if you licked a limpet?  
  
**Daisy:** pretty much?  
  
Hazel  
What did happen? I’m curious.  
  
Beanie  
It safe to assume she didnt die  
  
Hazel  
True  
  
**Daisy:** well it was salty and rough but I was about five so i can’t remember much else. i remember Bertie having to drag me away from the rocks because Uncle Felix was rushed away on business and our parents were paying any attention  
  
Hazel  
British beaches don’t seem like fun  
  
Kitty  
they aren’t  
  
Lavinia  
^^  
  
**Daisy:** you lot have NO sense of adventure  
  



	9. hazel, they're lesbians

Hazel  
  
**March 1** 12:32AM  
  
**Hazel:** Hey, Daisy.  
  
**Daisy:** anything wrong?  
  
**Hazel:** Only a little bit.  
  
**Daisy:** anything i can help with?  
  
**Hazel:** Ah Mah sent me a long message about how much she misses me and how my dad was cruel for sending me to school in England, and now I feel really bad for liking England so much if Ah Mah is so sad that I have left home.  
  
**Daisy:** i know this is hard to hear, but your mum is wrong. she shouldn’t make you feel bad for coming to England, or enjoying it – as you damn well should be, it’s excellent. she’s a grown-up and grown-ups aren’t meant to guilt children into doing what they want. it’s a cruel thing to do and she shouldn’t be taking her feelings out on you  
  
**Hazel:** It’s really odd that grown-ups can be wrong. It feels like, if I could just find the right thing to say to her, she would suddenly like me. Not just love me. I keep thinking that, if I managed to work out what she wants to hear from me, she would sweep me up in her arms like a little girl and apologise for ever trying to stop me coming to England.  
  
**Daisy:** grown-ups are peculiar like that, Hazel. and it’s not very nice  
  
**Hazel:** I wish that Jie-Jie was my real mother sometimes. She’s warm and bright and she doesn’t care how much I eat or what I wear, and Rose and May are so much happier than I was when I was as small as they are.   
  
**Daisy:** you have so many responsibilities, Hazel, and it’s unfair. your dad shouldn’t expect you to keep the peace and your mum shouldn’t guilt you and you shouldn’t have to explain everything to Rose and pull May out of danger. you think that’s how it’s supposed to work for everybody, but the fact is that you are only twelve, and that it is perfectly okay to think selfish things and to want to be able to exist in a family without worrying about it falling apart if you aren’t pulling it together from three continents away. it’s unfair that they expect you to do so many things. and DON’T say that it’s just your duty as a dutiful daughter because it ISN’T, it’s just too much pressure on you, quite frankly. you would be silly to think otherwise  
  
**Hazel:** I don’t really know what to say.  
  
**Daisy:** you don’t have to  
  
**Hazel:** Thank you, and I mean it.  
  
**Daisy:** creep over here and we can read a book together  
  
**Hazel:** It can’t be a creepy murder book.  
  
**Daisy:** how’s Five Children and It?  
  
**Hazel:** Good!

* * *

Hazel  
  
**March 4** 10:30PM  
  
**Daisy:** Bertie hasn’t spoken to me for a week  
  
**Hazel:** I suppose he’s still mad that you called Stephen cruel?  
  
**Daisy:** i suppose so. i hope he lays off of it before my birthday or that’ll be the most miserable birthday I’ve ever had  
  
**Hazel:** I don’t think anything could rival your brother not talking to you on your birthday  
  
**Daisy:** knowing my family, my fourteenth birthday will SOMEHOW rival that  
  
**Hazel:** What is your family like? I only know Bertie.  
  
**Daisy:** i like my uncle! he works for the government and he’s not as deadly boring as my other relatives. i like the house staff - we have a cook, and a maid, and a housekeeper. and we simply don’t talk about anybody else  
  
**Hazel:** Sounds like a good policy to me!

* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**March 6** 2:13PM  
  
Lavinia  
miss griffin is acting well weird  
  
**Daisy:** you think Miss Griffin? have you seen the looks on Miss Bell’s face recently?  
  
Hazel  
I heard Miss Parker ask her at lunch if she’s alright, and she sounded really concerned.  
  
Kitty  
well, that part isn’t a mystery lol  
  
Hazel  
What do you mean?  
  
Beanie  
Hazel, theyre lesbeans  
  
Hazel  
Ohhhh. That makes sense!  
  
Lavinia  
haroldthey’relesbians.png  
  
Kitty  
hazel is a tumblr ghostwriter, news just in  
  
Hazel  
I don’t know what Tumblr is and, at this point, I’m too afraid to ask  
  
**Daisy:** that HAD to be intentional  
  
Hazel  
That one was

* * *

s c r E A m s  
  
**March 8** 11:26AM  
  
Kitty  
lavinia, that was fucking AWESOME  
  
Beanie  
You gave poor Clemntine a nose bleed!  
  
Lavinia  
that bitch deserved it.  
  
Beanie  
We can hear her crying to Matron and Miss Nelson all the way from here  
  
Lavinia  
i’m ONE BED OVER, how do you think i feel?  
  
Kitty  
think they’re going to suspend her?  
  
**Daisy:** they damn well should. if you weren’t sitting closer to her than me, Lavinia, she would have much more than a bloody nose. did you know that you can crack someone’s skull if you punch them in just the right way?  
  
Lavinia  
if Rose and Jose hadn’t pulled me off her, i’d have let you at her as well  
  
Beanie  
I suppose she did deserve it. Tho I would have just given her a harsh shouting at. Im not too good at punching  
  
Kitty  
it’s a good thing to be bad at, don’t worry

* * *

Hazel  
  
**March 8** 9:45PM  
  
**Hazel:** What word was it that Clementine called you? It might be because English isn’t my first language, but I’ve never heard it before. Is it a swear word?  
  
**Daisy:** it’s a slur. they’re different things  
  
**Hazel:** What’s the difference?  
  
**Daisy:** a swear word is just a loud and angry word. a slur targets a specific group of people - the words people call you because you’re Chinese are slurs. the words that the people in Clementine’s magazine call my brother are slurs.  
  
**Hazel:** That makes sense! They’re cruel words, I don’t like them. What was the one that Clementine used?  
  
**Daisy:** it’s a word that people use to be mean to people like me  
  
**Hazel:** What do you mean?  
  
**Daisy:** autistic people. do you know what that is?  
  
**Hazel:** I do. Why does Clementine even know that you have autism?  
  
**Daisy:** i’m autistic. i don’t HAVE autism. it’s not something that can go away or be separated from me. my brother taught me that  
  
**Hazel:** Why does Clementine even know that you’re autistic?  
  
**Daisy:** i made the mistake of telling everybody when i got my diagnosis, in first form  
  
**Hazel:** I’m sorry people are so cruel to you. I promise that I won’t be, just tell me if I ever do it by accident!  
  
**Daisy:** i know you, Hazel Wong. i know that you never would. and i’ll never call you the things that i called you on your fist day ever again  
  
**Hazel:** I wasn’t too offended. ‘Foreign girl’ isn’t the most inventive of insults, you know.

* * *

Mycroft Holmes  
  
**March 9** 5:35PM  
  
**Felix:** Daisy Wells, what on earth have you done to your brother?  
  
**Daisy:** oh my god, i didn’t DO anything!  
  
**Felix:** I’m not mad, I just need to know what on earth is going on between you. Did you do something to upset him?  
  
**Daisy:** i teased him about somebody that was staring at him at a rugby match. ask him if you want to know why he’s irritated, because i don’t think that i did anything wrong.  
  
**Felix:** You’re more trouble than you’re worth, young lady

* * *

Squinty  
  
**March 9** 7:09PM  
  
**Bertie:** Cheers for not outing me to Uncle F  
  
**Daisy:** welcome.


End file.
